i will never coherently bang her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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