I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
