So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
