what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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