He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize