dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
