yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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