That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think I have vodka in my lungs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
