That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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