dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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