You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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