Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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