What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
