Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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