So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
