I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
