I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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