Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
