Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
