i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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