I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
