I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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