I CAN MOONWALK!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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