We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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