Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
