Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!

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(801): View more from Utah

My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.

Fav 31 898 5045
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(214): View more from Texas

he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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(914): View more from New York

Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it

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(801): View more from Utah

Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.

Fav 4 1134 2894
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(270): View more from Kentucky

he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

Fav 5 2666 1114
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!

Fav 4 2093 812
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(916): View more from California

She's not a foreskin expert like you

Fav 0 556 766
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(805): View more from California

I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone

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