I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you made out with another girl for some wings
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
