btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's never too late to be topless.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
