Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
