what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
