Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are the jesus of drinking
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
