her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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