Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
