Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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