I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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