Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Come on in and take your pants off
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