this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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