Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
