Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
