So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Houston, we have a blender
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
