During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is Oprah even human
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
last night I used snow as a chaser
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
