I'm really into asian looking animals
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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