I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
