I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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