I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
