Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
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