I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize