Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
my poor anus
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
