Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
