No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
