I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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