Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize