there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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