There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
