I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize