Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
