I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We got so high we made milksteak
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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