Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
