His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
