I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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