we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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