It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
