Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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